That's Not Who I Am Anymore
by Cartoonfreak22
Summary: Lavi is my 49th name, identity, person...but what ever happened to my 48 others?...XXXXxx I was curious how even though lavi travels around the world, no one remembers him by a different name...contains allenXlavi lenaleeXkanda-sister/brother relationship
1. why are you kissing?

_Lavi…_

_My 49__th__ name…_

_My 49__th__ person…_

_My 49__th__ life…_

_But…what ever happened to my 48 others…_

"Lavi…Lavi….LAVI!!!"

"Oy! Baka Usagi! Pay attention!"

Lavi broke out of the trance that he was in as he looked towards his comrades. Lenalee stood next to Allen with a look of concern plastered on her face. Allen's expression too seemed to mimic hers. Kanda's however, showed the strong face of mock irritation.

"What are you some kind of idiot. Lenalee is talking to you."

"oh sorry, Yu. I was just thinking about something is all…"

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT!"

Lavi laughed as he jumped out of range of kanda's swords.

"Oh yu! You're so fun, hahaha!"

"Lavi…" lenalee seemed to whisper from her mouth. Lavi halted his antics and looked towards her small frame. She looked genuinely worried…

"I'm fine, Lenalee! Just thought of something that's been bugging me. No big deal…"

"In other words his brain was overloaded…" Kanda added with a sneer

Lavi scoffed at the comment before turning towards Lenalee with his optimistic smile.

"It's nothing, now what were we doing? Oh yeah, the innocence…"

Allen, Lenalee, Kanda, and Lavi had been sent to Italy in search of another source of innocence. Komui felt that it was necessary for all four of them to go. Supposedly the story is that this city's men were disappearing and their families couldn't find them anywhere. There had been no signs of struggling in the victims' homes and there is no trace of where they could have gone. Komui was convinced that three of their strongest male exorcists should go, as bait and to defeat any akuma if found. However, komui did not expect Lenalee to volunteer to go with them. Her excuse? In case the boys couldn't handle it. After a fit of crying and yelling about the boys taking advantage of her, Komui finally let her go.

"alright, " started lenalee "where should we start our search?"

"before we start, can we get something to eat, I'm starving"

"allen, you're always hungry." lavi joked as allen's stomach seemed to growl in agreement

"we don't have time for food, moyashi. We have to find the innocence before any other people go missing."

"but bakanda! The report says the men go missing during the night and its only 11 in the morning. Can't we just go to a diner or something! This street is full of them."

"I agree with allen," nodded lenalee "we won't be able to fight any akuma if we have no energy. I think we can take a little time to eat, come on."

Lenalee grabbed kanda by his sleeve and dragged him towards the nearest diner. Lavi and Allen looked on in shock. Lenalee was the only person who could physically force kanda to do something without getting their body parts ripped off. They both followed their comrades into the diner, a reasonably safe distance away from kanda…

Of all the diners lenalee could have picked…this was the WORST!!! It was a gentleman's diner and men could be seen everywhere flirting with the waitresses and talking with the "entertainment". Lavi seemed to be enjoying himself quite a bit.

"Lenalee, didn't know you wanted to go here…" lavi smirked with a soft blush on his face. "look at all the pretty girls…"

Lavi was enjoying the room until a man decided to approach their darling lenalee. He started asking her how much a night with her would cost but was quickly interrupted by three teenage boys blocking his way. Each acting as her brotherly figure and keeping creepy perverts away from her.

The trio took a seat at the counter, lavi calmed down a bit after dealing with a few guys trying to hit on lenalee. It did not stop him however of observing the pretty young girls that worked in the diner. They were all very pretty but only one completely stood out, and it seemed all the guys were in love with her. She was a cute little brunette with short spiky hair that ran down her neck. She had piercing blue eyes that seemed to entrap your soul.

Lavi seemed to be mesmerized by her beauty until her eyes met his. They stared at each other for what he thought was years but he quickly turned towards his comrades, face deep red from his blush.

As he returned to his friends, he saw that Allen was stuffing his face full of food while lenalee and kanda were eating theirs nice and quietly. The waitress brought his food to him and gave him a curious look that made lavi stare at his food until she walked away…she looked familiar…

During their meal, girls kept approaching lavi, kanda, and allen and "sweet talking" them. Lenalee just laughed at their embarrassment as they avoided giving out their names and any *cough* experience they've had with any girls.

Then she came over. Lavi saw her get up from her chair in the corner of his eye but he dare not look in her direction. Lavi continued to eat, his eyes staring down into his plate. Then he felt her. She was leaning close to his back and he could feel her warm breathe on the back of his neck, making him shutter. Lavi quickly glanced at his friends; none of them were seeing what was happening. Allen was still eating and kanda was dealing with an obviously persistent woman, lenalee next to him crying from laughter. The next thing he knew, he felt her lips near his ear. She had wrapped her arms gracefully around his neck and her lips so close to his ear that he could feel her eyelashes graze his hair.

"never seen you here before." The woman spoke so smoothly that it sent obvious shivers down lavi's spine. This seemed her to be more forward with him. She leaned into his back, careful to graze her chest on his back causing him to shiver more. "My name is Minerva. Please to meet you…"

Lavi didn't know what to do! He just sat stone still and allowed her to do as she wanted with him…whatever that was (w).

"wanna know a fun fact about me?" she breathed heavily into his ear purposefully, lavi was sure of it. "my favorite kind of men, are red heads…" she threaded her fingers through lavi's fiery hair. He gasped from her motion and the sheer pleasure he was getting out of this. He closed his eyes as he enjoyed the feeling of her hands moving through his hair.

One hand remained in his hair while the other one began to continue south. He felt it graze across his neck and under his exorcist's jacket. WAIT! That's right, he's here for a reason, INNOCENCE…not to get lucky with some hooker in a diner (TT_TT).

"E-Excuse me. I'm s-sorry, but I'm only here for food. I-I'm not _that_ kind of customer…" lavi was able to mutter in a red faced stammer.

"oh, I know exactly who you are…" her hand continued to move down his chest, caressing his muscles as she went

"p-please, stop. I'm sure there are other customers who-AH!"

Lavi was shocked when he felt her lips kiss the tip of his ear, silencing him mid sentence. Lavi never knew that his ears were so sensitive but she was able to cause him an extraordinary amount of pleasure just by caressing his ear. His eyes seemed to close by themselves as pleasure flowed through him. He felt her hand reach into his inner pocket in his jacket and place something there, but he couldn't focus on that now! A moan escaped him as she started nipping his ear affectionately…but it all came to an abrupt stop.

Minerva removed herself from him and he was left panting, breathless, and extremely red faced.

"Hmm, you're very cute when you're embarrassed. Maybe you should come back when you ARE a customer." She gave him a very alluring smile "I could have plenty of fun with you."

She gave him a quick wink before she moved on to another group of men. Lavi was too distracted by Minerva to notice that Allen has stopped eating his enormous piles of food and was now looking at Lavi. He had seen what had just happened to his best friend and a deep red blush covered his face. What was this feeling he had deep in the pit of his stomach? Was it…jealousy? No…of course not…never…could it?...no…

Allen was able to turn his head before lavi looked over at him. He didn't want to let lavi see his blushed face, but lavi quickly ordered another water from the waitress and tried to calm his nerves.

Kanda and Lenalee were finally able to finish eating and ignore persistent "workers" when they turned their attention back towards allen and lavi. At first sight, allen was stuffing his face with food with even more vigor than before, slightly red in the face. Lavi was extremely red and it looked like he was trying to drown himself with the glass of water he was chugging.

"Uh…so guys ready to head out? I think we should search in the west first and head east from there. " lenalee chirped.

"..eh….ummm…s-sounds g-good…" lavi mumbled under his breathe

"mmmhmyeah…ben we can seberate laber and swearch norf and souft…" allen stated, mouth full of food.

"uhh…okay sure…good idea allen. Kanda you ready to go?"

Kanda finished drinking his soda before standing and quietly heading to the door by himself.

"well? Are you coming or what?" kanda turned his head to look at the rest before continuing out the door.

"Yeah, yeah Yu, we're coming." Lavi rose from his seat and headed towards the door with the others, hands casually placed behind is head.

"Hey lavi!" allen called "when we separate from the others to search north and south do…umm…do you want to come with m-"

"DEKE!?!"

Lavi and allen turned away to face the counter that they had just left and he saw the waitress that had served him looking at him with a extremely ecstatic and red face.

"Deke? Is…is that you?" she took a step closer to lavi.

Kanda and Lenalee had reentered the diner to see what the commotion was and everyone in the diner was quiet and looking towards lavi and this woman.

Allen had looked between lavi and this woman and he started to get mad. Who was she!?

Lavi turned completely around to look at the woman and she brought he hands to her mouth, starting to cry. She ran up to lavi and threw her arms around his neck, embracing him tightly. Lavi could only sputter words as she continued to hug him, his hands on the small of her back to support her so she wouldn't fall.

The woman finally pulled away from the hug and looked lavi in the eye. She took her hand and caressed his cheek before moving closer to him.

"I knew I recognized the face of my true love…" the woman closed the distance between her and lavi and she kissed him. (0o0)

Lavi was completely embarrassed; he didn't know what to do. Allen, next to him, was in complete shock and he felt his anger move to the pit of his stomach. Kanda and Lenalee…had no idea what was going on.

Lavi figured it was no use fighting anymore so he closed his eyes and embraced the woman tighter, kissing her back.

This just made allen madder…WHAT WAS GOING ON!!!!


	2. have i ever known the real you?

'_She's still touching you!!! Tell her to get off of you! Push her away, get her lips off yours! Why are you kissing back!?' _

Allen's mind was in turmoil as his thoughts raced through it. As he watched Lavi, one of his best friends in the world (maybe more?), kiss this women that allen has never seen before, his anger grew and grew. And what made him feel even worse, lavi was kissing back!

Sure, plenty of women have come up to him and tried kissing him, but he's always pushed them away saying that he was saving it for that "special someone". No matter how much flirting he did while in town, allen had never seen lavi KISS someone before…well, there's a first for everything.

This woman must be that special someone that lavi was always talking about. He showed no hesitation as they continued to kiss. But this scene was too much for allen. His stomach began to ache, and he gave a groan of agony. Soon his anger boiled over and he activated his innocence and pulled the pair apart.

Now separated, the woman was, though shocked by a large demon hand in front of her, had a look for longing toward lavi. While lavi himself, was gazing at allen, a devilish smile graced his lips. Allen, realizing what he had just done, extremely awkwardly deactivated his innocence and avoiding making eye contact with lavi. A blush grazed his features and he tried to get his composure back.

"l-lavi…w-who is thi-this?" allen managed to stutter out as he looked down at his feet.

"oh, this is…"

"I'm his girlfriend." Stated the woman confidently. "My name is Genny, and his name isn't 'lavi' its Deke."

Allen looked at this woman with a sense of loathing. She's telling him what his best friend's name is? The nerve of this woman! But, like is usual personality, allen let a small smile grace his lips as he continued to look at the woman.

"I'm sorry to tell you this," he began "but his name is lavi, and he has been with us for years."

"Well obviously you don't know him very well because his name is Deke, and he loves me!!" said genny with a hint of impatience.

"I think I know my be-"

"Actually Genny," interrupted lavi before he could say anything "allen here is one of my closest comrades and I don't think anyone knows me better than he does."

A small blush crawled across allen's face.

"but he doesn't even know your name, and I know you so much more than him!!"

Lavi walked over to the woman and put his arm over her shoulders as tears began to form in her eyes. He looked over his shoulder at the others and with a quick wave he told them he would meet them all outside.

Kanda and lenalee walked back out the door talking to each other about the mission as if the scene that just occurred didn't happen at all. Allen, however, didn't move from his place. Lavi noticed but didn't tell him to leave like the others. Instead he walked over to the diner with Genny and sat her down next to him. He held her hands and looked into her tear-stained eyes.

"Genny, I told you, I'm a bookman. I can't have connections with anyone who might influence history."

"but deke," she sobbed "you and I both know that I won't influence history! I'm just a waitress in a gentleman's diner. I'm insignificant to history!"

Lavi gave an exasperated sigh as if he's given the same explanation over and over again.

"Even the smallest of pawns can influence a game, genny. I can't risk me getting involved with you and changing the way history is supposed to be. I'm sorry."

"But, deke! I love you!! You love me too, right?"

Lavi once again sighed as if he's heard this same conversation multiple times.

"it's not about love genny, at least not for me…"

"but deke!! Why, why are you doing this to me, I love you!!"

Genny's voice had gotten so loud that people were now looking over towards them. Some even looked at allen like he was involved somehow, but he didn't care. Right now, allen's eyes were focused on the lavi in front of him. Allen had never seen lavi act so cold to someone who was in love. He was the one who usually helped people with love troubles and sometimes got into it himself. This lavi however wasn't the smiling, happy one that allen knew so well. He began to wonder, did he have any clue who the real lavi really was?

"Genny, I'm sorry, but that's not who I am anymore. I'm lavi now, I'm a Dark Order exorcist."

Lavi rose from his seat, kissed genny one more time on the forehead, whispered one last apology, and started for the door. Genny continued to stare at him as tears streamed down her cheeks. On his way out, lavi grabbed allen by the hand and led them both out. Allen looked back one last time, and he saw that genny was about to burst into sobs. He quickly turned before she finally collapsed.

Lavi and allen walked down the busy street, it seemed kanda and lenalee had already started their search. The commotion could still be heard in the diner but Lavi continued to drag allen with him by his hand but allen just stared at lavi with disbelieve. Finally, allen's senses seemed to have returned to him as he tried to pull his hand away from lavi.

"lavi…Lavi! Let go of me! Let Go!" allen whined as he pawed at lavi's grip. "what do you mean 'that's not who I am anymore'? are you telling me that you use to be 'deke'? that she really was your girlfriend? What are you hiding from us?" allen continued to put up a struggle as lavi continued to drag him "WHO ARE YOU REALLY!!?!?"

Lavi turned on allen and backed him into an alley onto a nearby wall. Lavi released allen's hand only to put his hands on either side of his head. Allen couldn't get away now, he was held against the wall, now he had to listen.

"you don't understand allen, I don't love her, I'm not who she thinks I am…"

"OBVIOUSLY I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE EITHER!," cried allen as he stared deeply into lavi's forest green eye "even if you don't love her lavi, you could of put her down easier than that. Why were you so mean? It was like you didn't even care! Like you didn't have a heart!"

This comment seemed to hit lavi the hardest. A small frown, where a smirk usually had been, grew on his face. His eyes seemed to glaze over as he continued to gaze into allen's eyes. A sudden pang of guilt washed over allen.

"Lavi, I…I didn't mean that. I meant…"

Lavi leaned closer to allen and rested his head against allen's shoulder. With an exasperated sigh, lavi whispered into allen's ear, causing him to shiver and his face to grow hot.

"A bookman…has no need for a heart…"

Lavi continued to lean his head against allen's shoulder and allen could feel shuttering breathes escape him. Allen raised his arms, hoping to comfort the older boy but just before he could lavi sprung back to life. His eyes once again had life in them and the same devious smirk was back on his face.

"Well, let's get to searching shall we? Yu and Lenalee must be worried about us."

As lavi turned to continue moving east, allen lunged towards him and wrapped his small arms around his chest. Lavi froze in place, not hating the touch, but afraid that if he moved, the warm feeling he got from it would leave.

"Lavi…you lied to her."

Lavi turned his head to look at allen who's face was buried in his back

"you said…you said that you can't influence history. You can't get involved with people who may influence history. But…you fight with us lavi." Allen tilted his head so lavi could see one of his eyes and the small blush that was on his face. "you help us and give us pep talks and help heal our wounds."

Allen gave a small sniff as he buried his head once again into lavi's back and tightened his hold like lavi would try to escape.

"you make us happy when all hope seems lost, you save us in battle, you help us make decisions, and you care about us…SO WHY DID YOU LIE!?"

Lavi seemed a little shocked at allen's behavior, why was he making such a big deal about this. Lavi thought that this situation would just blow over since everyone seemed to stay away from his past, seeing as he was a bookman and all. But allen seemed genuinely distressed by this. He did not seem curious but truly concerned about lavi's past.

"Moyashi, I think you are getting too worked up about this." Started lavi with a quick wave to signify that it wasn't a big deal, "what happens in the past, stays in the past, right? Don't worry about it oka-" lavi stopped midsentence as he felt something wet soak through his jacket. He looked back at allen who's head was still on his back. "allen?"

Allen lifted his head and lavi saw that allen had started crying. Small streams of tears worked their way down allen's handsome face.

"lavi… I don't know anything about you." Allen sniffed as he tried hard to keep looking lavi in the eye. "Apparently you have this secret past that nobody but you and bookman know about, but you know everything about everyone. That's so cruel! You don't share anything about you with us! You don't think you influence history or the people in it, but you do!" allen tightened his grip as he tried to continue "you've made lenalee bolder, krory braver and more sensible, and, believe it or not, kanda more tolerant…and…

Lavi's breath caught in his throat. This is the one person that he actually cared to hear about, the one person who he's wanted to influence since the beginning.

"and…me…" allen's face had a deep blush but tears continued to fall, his grip becoming suffocating, "you made me fall in love with you!!!"

Lavi's heart skipped a beat as a small gasp escaped him. But allen took no heed to this reaction as he continued.

"You can't tell me that meant nothing, that you don't influence anyone! You've become an important person in many people's lives and they need you! DON'T THINK YOU AREN'T PART OF HISTORY WHEN YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT YOU ARE!"

Allen's breathing became heavy as he had just poured his emotions out to lavi, but neither moved. Allen still held onto lavi and lavi continued to look at his comrade.

After what seemed like an eternity to allen, he felt lavi's hands on his own as he pried them apart. As he held allen's hands, he turned to face him. From this angle, lavi looked much taller than allen, and much more handsome than usual. Allen tried to look at anything but lavi, the street light, his feet, anything but his eyes. But lavi pushed allen against the wall again and grabbed his chin so he would have to look at him.

"allen," lavi whispered as his face grew closer to allen's with every passing second "is…that true?"

Lavi was a mere inch away from allen now, he could feel his breath on his face. Allen felt like he was going to melt, what has he done?!? He just admitted his feelings for his best friends because some woman in a diner made him jealous!! Usually allen could have just covered up his outburst with an excuse like the spur of the moment kind of thing, but looking at lavi now, he just couldn't lie to him…

Lavi's eye was half lidded and searching his eyes. His bookman eyes were searching for the answer that he was awaiting for. He seemed to have found it as his eye closed further and he moved closer.

Allen gave a small nod and an almost silent "yes" as lavi pressed his lips against his, in a sweet but silent kiss.


	3. why does God hate me?

'_this has got to be a dream…there's no way… he's so…'_

Allen's mind raced with thoughts but he was soon distracted by the sensation of a warm hand running through his hair and the cold alley wall on his back. Lavi pressed his body against Allen's as he deepened the kiss, encouraging allen to take some control. Allen could feel Lavi's hand at his waist and his other slide down his face to cup his cheek.

Allen started to feel something in his stomach, an ache? A tickle? No…it was more like, sheer pleasure. He finally responded to Lavi's signals by moving his arms around his neck and entangling his hands in his fiery hair, pressing his head closer so he could deepen the kiss even more.

Allen's heart leapt as he felt Lavi's tongue brush against his lips. He could admit it, he was new at all of this. He's never kissed someone on the cheek, let alone the mouth.

Allen opened his mouth hesitantly and jumped when he felt lavi's tongue move into his mouth. The feeling that Lavi was causing made allen give a soft moan, he legs shaking and barely keeping him up. Allen made no move as he let Lavi do as he wished, the feeling was amazing, but soon everything stopped and lavi pulled back from him. He gave a soft giggle as allen tried to follow his lips to continue the kiss.

Allen looked at him curiously as lavi gave his signature smirk.

"Allen, you're shaking…" he gave a small laugh and cupped allen's face "you don't have to rush for me ."

Allen, expecting another kiss closed his eyes and moved forward, but his eyes shot open as he felt Lavi's lips on his neck, placing small butterfly kisses here and there. Allen tilted his head to the side to give Lavi more room as a loud gasp escaped his lips. Allen's hands gripped Lavi's hair tight as Lavi nipped his skin and caused a small welt to appear. Lavi quickly eased the pain by smoothing over the skin with his tongue.

Allen threw his head back as lavi's name escaped his lips. But before allen could encourage lavi anymore with his soft noises, the familiar buzzing sound of his eye activating stopped any more sounds from escaping him. allen could feel the blood lust emanating from the akuma like it was the one on top of him instead of Lavi. Allen pushed lavi away a little and lavi saw that his eye had been activated…

"damn, why now of all tim…"

"WELL WASN'T THAT ABSOLUTELY DISCUSTING!"

Allen and lavi jumped apart, allen activating his arm while lavi pulled out his hammer and held it ready next to him. Further down in the dark ally, hidden by the shadows, an akuma was sitting, watching them without attacking. This akuma was a Level 2, machine form. It looked like a snake, poised to strike with a face that resembled that of a woman's. It spoke in a feminine tone which caused a sense of innocence among its obviously devious figure.

"and here when I thought I had you humans figured out," the akuma sneered "I see two males making out!! HA! Exorcists…the army of God? Don't make me laugh!"

Allen jumped at the akuma, determined to end its existence quickly and get back with lavi, but the akuma dove towards allen and punched him into the ground which shattered at the strength.

"Allen!!!" lavi called as he sprinted to where his comrade was. Allen was partly covered in rubble, but a simple hit like that wasn't enough to take away his consciousness. Allen looked towards their target. The akuma had been able to fly high in the air, in other words, out of his range.

"Don't worry moyashi, it's all mine." Lavi swung his hammer above his head, the seals appearing when commanded.

"Heaven seal!! Violent Thunder!"

As Lavi hit the ground with his hammer, clouds began to form quickly form over their heads, and, what seemed like a split second, lightning shot out from the clouds heading straight for the akuma.

With surprising speed, the akuma slithered through the air as the metallic body avoided the direct attack which crashed with a loud explosion to the ground. The akuma streaked toward the ground with such speed that it almost became invisible, swiftly grabbing allen in a tight metallic grip. The akuma swung its massive tail at Lavi but Lavi was able to avoid it by putting his hammer between him and the deadly attack. The defensive move was enough to save lavi from instant death, but he was sent flying into a building, its foundation collapsing around him.

"Lavi!!!!" allen called as he struggled to get out of the akuma's strong grip. All the strength that he had to fight seemed to drain out of him as he watched the building crumble to ruins on top of his friend, his love.

"oh no!" laughed the akuma "looks like I may have hurt your little boyfriend. Maybe if I'm lucky," the akuma got close to whisper into allen's ear "I killed him"

This thought seemed to wrack allen's body the most. He felt his spine tingle, his limbs go numb, and his heart ache, like something was ripped from it and thrown into the fire.

Then, anger hit allen like a speeding train. Why was God so cruel to him? Finally, he has something important to him and he finally has it all to himself, and its ripped away from him.

His eyes grew red, his left arm pulsed with the searing hatred that he didn't think was possible in any human. Allen's body grew hot, too hot for the akuma to hold as he let out a yelp and released allen from his clutch.

Allen landed gracefully on the ground only to jump high into the air, a murderous intent towards the akuma pulsing in his veins. Seeing allen coming, the akuma flew high into the air and out of the mad exorcist's reach.

Allen stalked the ground like a wild animal, trying to figure out any way to get to his prey. He looked up again, the akuma was nervous, looking at allen's every movement. Perhaps the akuma could sense how much allen loathed him now.

Allen continued to look at the akuma, when suddenly, dark, ominous clouds began to form over its head. The akuma didn't seem to notice as his fear of allen attacking him held his full attention. Allen could hear rubble moving, groans of pain, and then the voice that he longed to hear. The anger slowly ebbed away from his core.

"HEAVEN SEAL! VIOLENT THUN-"

"niko! To me!"

The akuma vanished before the deadly lightning struck. The akuma reappeared at the end of the alleyway, next to a very feminine figure. The lighting's bright strike barely revealed the figure, but allen could see a pair of piercing blue eyes through the darkness.

"I thought I told you not to fight them yet. You'll ruin everything for master."

"I'm sorry my lady!!! I'm so so so sorry."

"no matter" she glanced towards allen and then glanced towards the crumbled building where a red-head was trying to uncover himself. "hmm, why did you have to damage the cute one… oh well, let's go."

"yes ma'am" in a quick flash, both figures were gone.

Allen ripped his gaze away from the alleyway entrance and turned towards his struggling friend. Lavi was bleeding, badly, and it looked like he had broken some bones. Lavi continued to push large pieces of rubble off of his bruised body, his life saving hammer still in hand.

Allen used his arm to move the large pieces of rubble that were slowly crushing Lavi's limbs. His legs looking particularly abused struggled to move as Lavi attempted to rise. As he began to get up, Lavi's legs gave out on him and he began to fall, only to be supported by Allen who took most of Lavi's body weight. Lavi sighed, grateful that allen was there to help him.

"Aw, thanks allen. Don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

Lavi grinned and giggled softly to himself, happy that both of them were okay, but soon stopped when he heard an almost silent sob coming from the smaller boy.

"allen?"

Lavi looked at allen who had his head bent down, obviously trying to avoid having lavi see his face. Lavi used his one good arm and reached towards allen's chin, turning it to face his own. Allen had tears streaming down his face, his eyebrows knitted together in despair. His eyes were glassy and bubbly with emotion.

"La-Lav-i…" allen barely mumbled the word through his sobs. His body wracked in shivers "I thought…I thought I lost you!!"

With that last word, allen's legs also gave out causing both him and lavi to fall to their knees. Allen covered his face with his hands as he desperately tried to cover his face from lavi's piercing stare and wipe away the tears that were streaming down his face.

Lavi gazed at Allen with full admiration. Seeing allen now, he was fully reminded how old allen was. The scene in front of him looked like a small child crying over a toy he had lost, trying to be an adult about it but incapable of stopping tears from falling. His vision began to get fuzzy but he continued to look at allen. Lavi raised his hand to cup his comrade's cheek. Allen dropped both his hands from his face when he felt the warmth of his partner's hand. Lavi's thumb wiped away the stray tears that continued to fall and he moved closer to allen, love evident in his eyes.

"Don't worry allen," lavi breathed shallowly as his vision began to go black "I promise I will never disappear…"

Lavi kissed allen softly but all his energy seemed to be drained out of him as his vision completely blacked out and his body went limp. Lavi fell from allen's lips to land in his lap, like a small child who fell asleep on his mother.

Allen looked down at Lavi, brushing stray hairs out of his face and brushing his fingers softly against his blood stained face. He couldn't describe the feelings he had for the older teen. But allen continued to star at lavi, even when one final single tear fell from his cheek and landed on lavi's lips.

=-=-=-=-=-

Sorry for the long wait but it couldn't be helped…senior year in high school was suppose to be fun…but it's not…

I noticed I never included a disclaimer in any of my stories so I'll do it now…**I DO NOT…REPEAT…DO NOT OWN ANYTHING OF D. GRAY MAN!!! **

There that should cover me for the rest of my stories…remember, reviews are friends, not food!


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